New Atheists like Richard Dawkins feign outrage at any suggestion that their creed itself amounts to a kind of religion – even as (for example) they issue their own suggested revisions of the Ten Commandments (see The God Delusion, pp. 263-4). Now, a reader informs me, Dawkins has decided to sponsor his own version of Bible Camp. I kid you not. All Dawkins needs now is a camp song; have fun coming up with your own lyrics.
Richard’s Holiday Camp
by Edward Feser
Comments (32)
Actually, the atheist camp song already exists, with words by one of their own. It's called "Amazing Place." Make sure you have plenty of tissues handy to wipe up the tears of laughter as you imagine people actually singing this:
http://secweb.infidels.org/?kiosk=articles&id=45
(Search "Amazing" on the page to find the lyrics.)
Posted by Lydia | June 29, 2009 3:03 PM
"I went to atheist camp, and all got was this lousy brown shirt."
Posted by Francis Beckwith | June 29, 2009 3:44 PM
"Put in your earplugs, put on your eyeshades, you know where to put the cork." --T. Dawkins-Walker
Posted by Gintas | June 29, 2009 4:09 PM
Here at Camp Quest we
Learn our Dest'ney
Is but to be
Worm Food!
Posted by Ilíon | June 29, 2009 6:16 PM
Here at Camp Quest one
Learns to question
All that god-stuff:
True Rood!
Posted by Ilíon | June 29, 2009 6:23 PM
Here at Camp Quest they
Tell us some day
Life will ie-day:
Don't brood!
Posted by Ilíon | June 29, 2009 6:27 PM
well shoot! that last one was messes up
Posted by Ilíon | June 29, 2009 6:28 PM
Here at Camp Quest they
Tell us some day
Life will ix-nay:
Don't brood!
Posted by Ilíon | June 29, 2009 6:28 PM
Here at Camp Quest you
Can be sure to
Know you are too
Worm Food!
Posted by Ilíon | June 29, 2009 6:36 PM
Here at Camp Quest I
Never did (a)pply
Reason to my
Cert'tude!
Posted by Ilíon | June 29, 2009 6:49 PM
All together now!
Here at Camp Quest we
Learn our Dest'ney
Is but to be
Worm Food!
Here at Camp Quest one
Learns to question
All that god-stuff:
True Rood!
Here at Camp Quest they
Tell us some day
Life will ix-nay:
Don't brood!
Here at Camp Quest I
Never did (a)pply
Reason to my
Cert'tude!
Here at Camp Quest you
Can be sure to
Know you are too
Worm Food!
Posted by Ilíon | June 29, 2009 6:56 PM
Oh, heck! I messed up on the second verse, too.
Posted by Ilíon | June 29, 2009 6:59 PM
here we go:
Here at Camp Quest we
Learn our Dest'ney
Is but to be
Worm Food!
Here at Camp Quest one
Learns to question
All things Xtian:
True Rood!
Here at Camp Quest they
Tell us some day
Life will ix-nay:
Don't brood!
Here at Camp Quest I
Never did (a)pply
Reason to my
Cert'tude!
Here at Camp Quest you
Can be sure to
Know you are too
Worm Food!
Posted by Ilíon | June 29, 2009 7:00 PM
Great. This blog has just been converted into a hotspot for queer poetry. Just lovely.
Posted by aristocles | June 29, 2009 7:06 PM
Blow it out yer .... ear!
Posted by Ilíon | June 29, 2009 7:11 PM
Once I was a Christian,
But the Christians made me cry;
No more do I believe in
That big bully in the sky.
Once I was a Muslim
But the Muslims made me mad;
No more pray I to Mecca,
Nor partake of their Jihad.
Then I tried for Jewish,
But I liked my pork and sin;
I got my foreskin reattached,
And on Saturdays sleep in.
At last became a Buddhist,
But no wan ascetic I;
Meditation's such a drag
For one so young and spry.
Now I am an atheist
And it suits me pretty well;
No rigid laws for me to keep,
No one-way trip to Hell.
No lazy introspection,
No injustice to condone,
No fictitious "love" or "honour":
Just me, myself, alone.
Posted by Nick Milne | June 29, 2009 9:31 PM
Nice one, Nick!
Posted by Kathleen Lundquist | June 30, 2009 12:30 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lum0_EgF0zI :-)
Posted by Terry Morris | June 30, 2009 9:28 AM
Thanks, Kathleen; I put that together a few years ago in answer to an actual atheist's call on a message board for an actual atheist anthem. He, uh, was not pleased.
Posted by Nick Milne | June 30, 2009 11:32 AM
Vox Day's treatment of this is pretty funny.
Posted by Mike T | June 30, 2009 2:35 PM
At the very least, Nick Milne's poem is considerably wittier than the previous which, at best, was simply subpar; not to mention, it wasn't about some off-color tale concerning some gay campers obsessed with worms.
Posted by aristocles | June 30, 2009 3:42 PM
Aw, Mike T, you beat me to it.
But, it's not altogether a joke, either. You don't have to follow Dawkins that much to discover that he's got some rather, um, unorthodox views on sexual mores and morality. And if Catholic and Orthodox priests, under risk of damnation, can end up molesting kids, what do you think is going to happen when you put them under the unsupervised tutelage of a bunch of Godless types who recognize no moral law but their own, especially when it comes to sexual gratification? You only have to look at the conduct of the Rational Response Squad, especially when it comes to their jailbait followers, to know where this is going.
Posted by The Deuce | June 30, 2009 4:59 PM
Mine only took up one post, too. ;)
Posted by Nick Milne | June 30, 2009 9:14 PM
Aristocles, you're a fool, and an ass.
Posted by Ilíon | July 1, 2009 12:11 AM
Mine was going to be only the first post. Then another verse presented itself, so I posted it. Then another. Finally, I pulled them all together into a single post.
Posted by Ilíon | July 1, 2009 12:13 AM
A pity it wasn't. A collection of subpar is still subpar. Indeed, sub-subpar.
You should try to restrain that graphomanic urge of yours. It may not be too easy but if you succeed you will be proud of yourself. It is like beating an addiction...
Posted by Erik Larsen | July 1, 2009 6:24 AM
Please! (restrain your own self)
Nick Milne submitted a hymn! It's a good hymn, but the requirement was for a camp song. And my offering is a very good camp song -- and contrary to the repeated claim of a certina fool, there is nothing "gay" about it.
Posted by Ilíon | July 1, 2009 6:35 AM
Nick:
Not to mention, not only particularly apt but remarkably poetic, too.
Erik Larsen:
LOL! I also found it hilarious that the gentleman (and I use the term rather loosely) actually had the gall to repost his trite dribble a second time. Yet, I should be a little more considerate as regarding such parties obviously devoid of taste. Cheers.
Posted by aristocles | July 1, 2009 12:34 PM
But then, loose does befit you.
Posted by Ilíon | July 1, 2009 1:03 PM
Even the retort is deplorably pathetic. Figures.
Posted by aristocles | July 1, 2009 1:15 PM
You seem to assume that I owe you something better. Where ever did you acquire such a defective idea?
Still, perhaps you do have a valid point, at least to some degree. Why, oh why! am I not the sort of person who can make the sort of incisive observations, even if totally false, for which Aristocles is so justly and widely known?
Curse my fate!
Posted by Ilíon | July 1, 2009 10:41 PM
Nice..
Eileen..
======================
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